Dirrrty South. . . . Mekong Style

I read an article on the BBC News website that a pink baby elephant was spotted in Botswana. Filled with complete and utter excitement, I clicked the link.

This picture followed:

Meh. I guess it’s kinda pink. It’s more like it’s pink in comparison with the other elephants. It’s just not exciting as I thought it would be.

Maybe I’m a bit disappointed because I thought it would look a little more like the new purse I got in Phnom Penh.

If you want to see an animal that’s pink with some pizzaz, look no further:

This dolphin was spotted in Louisiana. The dolphin and the elephant are both albinos.

Speaking of albinos, apparently albino humans are in danger in Tanzania. Their body parts are in high demand by “witch doctors” to use in potions. Interesting stuff. One of my regrets in Cameroon is that I wished I had gone with my original idea to research albinos as opposed to music video dancers…

This is in response to a post I did a few weeks ago.

Today, I was sitting around on the street, waiting for some sugarcane juice. This kid on a bicycle came up to me and asked, “Where is the foreigner?” (he’s seen me around with Toni before).

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“Oh, so why did you dump him?”

Vindication at last!!

One of the chapters in one of the books I’m teaching from talks about spelling bees. I was looking on YouTube to see if there were any examples I could show my students.

I was reading The Onion’s A.V. Club, and someone mentioned that Ken Keeler, a writer who worked on The Simpsons and Futurama, had proclaimed that the word “underpants” is 20% funnier than “underwear”.

I don’t know if 20% is correct, it might be more….but by golly the idea is true. Why is that? Underwear? He he. Underpants? He he he he…..

What do YOU think?

….underpants….heheheheheheeeeeee……

Similar to how a boss runs an office, a teacher manages a classroom. When I watched the latest episode of The Office, I had a feeling of deja vu watching Steve Carrell’s antics.

I think I may be the Michael Scott of English Teaching. May God help the Mekong Delta.

Two incidents this week, that made me laugh so hard I almost cried. Maybe you wouldn’t think it’s funny, but for me, in this context, after a teaching for hours, and it being very, very hot, it’s really easy to be incredibly amused.

1) So I had assigned homework that was to be collected on Monday. Then I assigned a quick worksheet that was due on Tuesday. During Tuesday’s class, I’m walking around while the students are discussing something, and I notice that one of the students had a completely blank Tuesday worksheet.

“You didn’t do the homework?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t do the homework due on Monday over the weekend, so I had to do it last night, so I didn’t have enough time to do the homework for today,” he said to me matter-of-fact,  like he just told me it was a sunny day or that it was 2:30pm. 

“So…let me get this, you didn’t do today’s homework because you hadn’t done yesterday’s homework?”

“Yes, teacher,” he said. He thought it was weird that I thought it was weird.

“Could you at least hide it the next time you don’t do homework? Like close your book when I walk by?” I demonstrated for him.

“Ok, teacher.”

2) Sunday March 8th is International Women’s Day. I asked the students how they normally celebrate. Many talked about giving gifts to girlfriends, sisters, and mothers. I ask one male student (not the same one as above) what he will do for the women in his life.

“I will wash my own shirt,” he said.

“YOUR shirt?” I asked, wanting to clarify since students often mix up pronouns and possessives.

“Yes.”

“Not even wash their clothes?”

“Just my own shirt.”

“And that’s your Women’s Day gift to show appreciation to the women in your life?”

“Yes, teacher.”

I’ve been reflecting on how I spent my day today.

In the morning I taught a lackluster class. Thi-Bay called me in the middle of it, but I hurriedly shut my phone off. 

All day, I haven’t been very focused with teaching or lesson planning. I’ve been wondering about my future, and then also thinking of trivial things to distract me from thinking of the future. From where I’m going to live, who will I socialize, and most importantly…motorbikes. I need to learn how to ride a motorbike, I need to save money for buying a motorbike for when I go to HCMC. Sure I acknowledge that accidents happen (I’ve seen the injuries and stories of my family friends), however that doesn’t stop people from living their lives. 

The future is not fun to think about. It’s a great unknown, which on a good day can be exciting, but on the day right after making a decision, it can be frightening. When that gets me down, I usually drown myself in pop culture, it’s all about escaping. Today’s choices: obsessing over who killed Jenny Schector on “the L Word,” the character almost every viewer has been wishing to be offed for the last 6 seasons. Later, Toni and I caught up on some Heroes, delighting in some of the cavalier, gruesome murders on the show (someone gets their head splattered open, we went “OoOo”. That’s kind of morbid, but hey, no one really dies forever on that show. Blood, guts, glory, intrigue, death just makes good TV sometimes. 

In the evening, I finally remember to call Thi-Bay back. Lately, I’ve been not so great with getting back to people in a timely fashion, or at all. It’s easy to think, “Meh, it’s not that important. They can call again”. She had called me that morning to inform me that Andy, one of the VIA vols, had been in a motorbike accident and didn’t make it. 

Suddenly all the bullshit I wasted the day wrapping my mind around disappeared. A fitting tribute, I’d say, since he was never one for bullshit. There are many wonderful things I could say about him from the short time we knew each other but that still doesn’t seem to do justice. Also, how could I even begin, when there are so many people who knew him more and will give a much better description of him. So instead, I’ll leave it at this: Andy, you are a real good guy. You will be missed. 

P.S. I’ll pour a shot of “Essence of Chicken” on the ground in your honor.

Hey, I know I don’t speak Vietnamese, nor do I have many concrete qualifications (Oh thank you, oh great humanities major at aliberal arts school)…..but will you please…